Chatty Fiction: “At a Loss”

I wrote and edited over 12 000 words this last month working on Marvel Heroic Roleplaying supplements and material for my Seminars. That meant I spent a lot less time gaming and thus had less things to discuss on the blog. Yet, I did write a lot though.  I do love to blog about what I do. Thus I decided that I could afford to bring a  slight change of focus over here and start blogging about writing a little more.

Today, I wrote my first piece of Flash Fiction. I don’t know if it’s any good, but I’m proud of it. It’s an idea that popped in my mind as I was telling myself I should try my hand at it as a writing exercise in between freelance assignment. It’s amazing how challenging it can be to try to say so much in so little.

So here it is, slightly longer than this intro. Enjoy and let me know if I should do more.

At A Loss

A story by Philippe-Antoine Ménard

“Genny, I can’t take this anymore.” You could hear the exasperation rise rapidly in his voice. “I love you, I really do, but all of this… It’s just too much for me.” His fists were clenching and unclenching repeatedly, his stress and anxiety showing more than usual.

“Please give me just one good reason why we should stay together.” He expected to hear none.

“I’m pregnant.” Genny’s gentle eyes were brimming with tears.

An adrenal bomb went off in his nerve-wracked body. “What the fuck? Are you shitting me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you… Given the circum…”

“Don’t you dare go there Gen!” he said, his face reddening by the second.

“He’s not yours!” she shouted back before he went on his usual rant.

“WHAT?”

Genny’s distraught face was wet with tears “I’m so sorry, he’s David’s…”

His boiling blood froze. Feelings of loss and guilt overwhelmed his heart. Genny reached for him, “Oh dearie I’m so sorry…”

He raised his hand, silencing her, taking a moment to anchor himself back to reality.

“There’s only one other in this world I’d trust to raise this child.” he said, “Genny, will you marry me?”

 

Comments

  1. Hey, that was good! I loved the way you played with an emotionally charged situation, and delivered in such a non-standard but believable way.

  2. @Andy: Thanks the feedback, I really appreciate it. I will be posting more of those. Have a great day!

  3. Scott Wallace says:

    Hi Chatty,

    Interesting situation to be thrown into as a reader. Without further narrative or set up i got this sensation of confusion and felt as if things were moving so fast that it was hard to keep up with what was happening in the script.

    I felt that this was a brilliant way to add extra connection to the characters, almost as if by reading this short piece i managed empathize with the protagonist; not only through the script, but through the style of the writing.

    Well done Chatty!

    Scott W.

  4. What happens next?! I need more! MORE!

    Seriously, I enjoyed this, man. Fast-paced, pulled me in, left me hanging and wanting more. Good stuff.