Golden Oldie – A Marvel Heroic Roleplaying Preview

ID: May Parker (secret)

Affiliations

Solo d8, Buddy d10, Team d6

Distinctions

Herald Of Galactus, Little Old Lady, Always Worrying About Poor Peter

Power Sets

The Power Cosmic

Cosmic Blast d12, Godlike Strength d12, Godlike Durability d12, Godlike Speed d12, Superluminal Flight d12, Telepathy d10, Telekinesis d10, Intangibility d10, Transmutation d10, Godlike Durability d12, Godlike Senses d12, Time Travel d10

SFX: Multipower. Use two or more The Power Cosmic powers in a single dice pool at -1 step for each additional power

Limit: Galactus’s Whim. Shutdown The Power Cosmic if Galactus wills it.

Limit: He’s A Menace. Gain a PP to step up Emotional Stress inflicted by Spider-Man doing something misunderstood.

Specialties

Cosmic Master, Baking Master, Knitting Master

Milestones

You Get A Big Delight In Every Bite

1 XP when you bake something.

3 XP when you convince Peter or Galactus that he really should eat something.

10 XP when you discover a golden food source tasty and plentiful enough to sate even the dread and mighty Eater of Worlds or discover that your darling Peter is that awful Spider-Man.

History

May Parker was a sweet old lady who lived a very happy life with her husband Ben. The couple cared for their nephew Peter after his parents died. Then Peter had an origin story that resulted in Ben’s death and his becoming Spider-Man. For years, it was thought that Aunt May’s heart would explode if she ever found out about her nephew’s second job.

One day, Peter took May and his girlfriend Mary Jane to a theatre and promptly ditched them to go do superhero stuff. As it happened, the Fantastic Four was sitting nearby and were having trouble figuring out how to simultaneously go save the world and find childcare for young Benjamin RIchards. May overheard their problem and kindly offered to watch the child. The Invisible Woman was justifiably creeped out, but Peter (as Spider-Man) showed up to give his official endorsement (which May didn’t like).

All the superhero-types went off to do some stuff, and May is walking around with Benjamin in a parking lot, and Galactus randomly shows up. He says he is weak, and Benjamin is powerful and he will help him reach his full potential. So he blasts some Power Cosmic on him, and apparently May is having none of this so she jumps out in front. Instead of being reduced to crispy old lady bits, she becomes Golden Oldie, Herald of Galactus.

May then uses the Power Cosmic to break into a snack shop so Benjamin can give Galactus some Twinkies. Then apparently she’s just not interested in the whole childcare bit anymore and she takes off into space to go find Galactus some more grub. Then she almost gets into a fight with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man over a planet-sized Twinkie. But he’s cool with it, and Galactus gets his nom on.

Then May wakes up, and it was all a dream. Except it totally wasn’t.

Art by Brian Patterson of d20Monkey. All characters © & ™ 2012 Marvel & Subs. Heroic Roleplaying and Cortex Plus ™ 2012 Margaret Weis Productions, Ltd.

Comments

  1. Oh. My. Gosh. That is too hilarious. I’d put up with a year’s full of April fools jokes to laugh like this.

  2. Ah, I sure loved Assistant Editor’s Month. Thanks for the flashback!