(Yes I am recently separated. Everything’s fine now, including the kids.)
I picked up my smartphone and sent a call out on Twitter for some entertainment.
Chatty: Spending day alone in new unfurnished apartment, awaiting for new furniture and services. Keep me company plz?
That’s when my good friend FDL, sent me this completely unexpected response:
FDL: Ok. you see a grue. What do you do? 🙂
(I was thinking: “Hey cute joke…. Let’s see how it plays out.”)
Chatty: Wave torch
FDL: As you wave your torch, you set your furniture delivery guys on fire. Game over. Restart? [y/n]
(I fell down my flimsy beach chair onto my hardwood floor laughing. This could become fun.)
Chatty: LOL yes. Talk Grue.
FDL: The grue says she’s your upstairs neighbor and she hopes her noisy Angry Birds parties won’t bother you too much. What next?
Chatty: examine exits
FDL: There is only one exit, a hangar bay door.
Chatty: kick door
FDL: Door says “Ow!” and kicks back. Grue looks at you in disgust.
(Very funny man… At this point it was clear we had a Parsely text game going. The fact that it worked so well on Twitter was awesome. People had started reading it and reacting to it. I was having fun, my woes forgotten.)
Chatty: Apologize door.
(I was still playing it old school with 2 words)
FDL: This game uses the Diablo II inventory screen, so assume that you can’t find anything useful, ever. Assume your hands are empty.
(Har har har…)
Chatty: Exit room
FDL: The grue locks the door behind you. It is very cold outside. And you forgot to say “wear pants”, didn’t you?
FDL: It’s Friday. You never wear pants on Friday. Lord knows you said so on Twitter often enough.
(Smartypants, stop reading my Tweets.)
Chatty: Scoff about need for pants.
FDL: As you exit the apartment pantsless, you run into your other new neighbors who wanted to welcome you. All of them.
Chatty: Do dance of pantless pride
FDL: Neighbor’s kid takes a swing at your pantslessness with +5 Vorpal Steeltoed boots. Rolls a natural 20. You’re in ER.
(That was a low blow FDL)
Chatty: (ouch…) summon nurse
(There was a missing, untagged tweet here about a nurse casting Cure Critical Wounds and an Orc lying in the next bed, a Battleaxe embedded in its forehead, smiling at me.)
Chatty: Examine room
FDL: Well, it IS an examination room, so you sorta have to do that, yeah. BTW, the Orc says: “You pretty!”
FDL: BTW, the grue called and said you missed your cable guy. He rescheduled your appointment for March 14th, 2177.
(Sigh, it’s funny because it’s almost true)
Chatty: Ask orc for battleaxe
FDL: Orc smiles (toothlessly), hides battleaxe behind his back and says: “You no say magic worrrrd, pretty one!”
(Sigh… time to test the parsely engine.)
Chatty: Smile sweetly and tell orc “give me the (censored) battleaxe you (censored) or I’ll (censored) your (censored) (censored) please.
FDL: Orc hands you the battleaxe and says: “You not gotta be big meanie, hurt Ogg-Bogg’s feelings!” Nurse frowns at you.
Chatty: Kiss orc on forehead and say “I was speaking Bromantic Orc you dummy” then find pants… Any pants.
FDL: You put on clown pants. The clown you take them from looks pissed, until he sees your battleaxe and your Orc.
Chatty: Search clown pants pocket for clown car keys and go out into parking.
FDL: 12,000 evil clowns pile out of the car and squirt unholy water at you with their lapel flowers. Roll saving throw.
(I gotta hire this guy for my next adventure)
Chatty: I’m wearing a gown, clown pants, a battleaxe and an amorous orc with a splitting headache; I make the damn save.
FDL: OK. Just in the nick of time, the Orc dives in front of you to take the Unholy water blast. He dies with a smile.
(Nooooooooooooo…… Ogg-Bogg, our bromance was too short.)
FDL: And then the grue swoops by and steals you away from the angry clown mob. You’re back home, safe. You win. 5000 XP!
That was a great little game. It helped me pass the time and I thank FDL for having taken some time and invested significant creative effort in doing this. So you see, Twitter can be used for parsely games after all (and others too). Provided both parties are willing to play some give and take for entertainment value.
Also, if you haven’t tried them yet, give Jared Sorensen’s Parsely games a try. They are a great way to pass time in between games.
Special thanks to Dr.C., the new special someone in my life, who safeguarded this exchange so I could make a post out of it. Also thanks to Tangent128 who made the TwitRPG logo back in 2008 when I played my first RPG game on Twitter.