The Virtual “We’re behind you” Card: Chris Sims

(Editor’s Intro: Chris Sims was recently diagnosed with a Skin Cancer condition which, thankfully, turned out to be minor and treatable by facial surgery. This post is a virtual get well card and we would really appreciate for you to share a few kind words with us and sign it)

(Post publication edit: Turns out that Chris’ truck betrayed him and had to cancel the surgery and push it to next week… so let’s make this card a “we’re behind you” card then!)

Dear Chris,

We at Critical Hits, all our readers and fans would like to wish you a rapid recovery for what the “authorities” called a treatable growth.  Rest assured that we all know the truth and support you with your fight against the spawns of the Far Realm. We know what invaded your stoic visage right after this unfortunate encounter with an overripe piece of Brie cheese in your refrigerator a few months ago.

Know that we all sent secret prayers to our deity, meditated upon our respective spiritual philosophies and harnessed our power sources of choice to unify our voices to aid your surgeon and crew. Thus, we hope she doesn’t score 3 failures before the required 8 successes that is this challenge of fending off the growing Fell Taint from your handsome face.

Rest assured, we all believe that the big DM in the sky is way less of a killerDM than some of your friends and former colleagues.

We look forward to seeing you back again on your feet and on the pages of this here website.

Phil & Dave on behalf of the whole Critical Hits crew, friends and readers.

Art graciously offered by Jared Von Hindman


  1. Dude,
    I hope you get better. Ancient evils from outside space-time are never fun to deal with.

    /josh aka shouit on twitter.

  2. Chris,

    House Rule: every comment on this thread now grants you +2 to your Fortitude Save (or equivalent save in any edition/game).

    I now cast upon thee Power Word: Get-Well-Soon.

    What, it’s Power Word, not Words.


  3. Get better soon Chris!

  4. Chris,

    Get well, man. We appreciate your insight and humor.

  5. Mike Shea says:

    Get well soon, my friend!

  6. Jonathan Zero says:

    Get well soon! There are dragons about…

  7. Here’s to a speedy recovery!
    *cheerfully raises a mug of mead*

  8. Hope recovery speeds along Chris. Far Realm entities, begone!

  9. Mike Hasko says:

    Got the components for the Cure Disease ritual. Let’s get some Aid Other checks going so I don’t botch the roll.

    Raising a glass here in da ‘Burgh for a speedy recovery.


  10. Though I am included in the post, I will add my own: Get well soon Chris!


  11. Get well soon!

  12. Get well soon Chris, we’re praying for you!

  13. Sewicked says:

    Get well soon, Chris. At least you remembered the rule about never summoning anything bigger than your head. Hastur, Hast…grrk

  14. Chris said yesterday on Twitter that he was having truck problems and couldn’t make it to the surgery, and that he rescheduled it for next, I think, Tuesday (July 6th?). Did something change and he did get to go in after all?

    -B. Lynn

  15. Get well soon Chris! 🙂

  16. Get thee well!

  17. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  18. @B.Lynn: Oh crap! Spin doctor mode! I re-edited it to make the endeavour into a “Aid surgeon” card/We’re behind you card/Get better card. Thanks! 🙂

  19. DrJones72 says:

    Best wishes and get well soon!

  20. Oh, man. Good wishes and healing thoughts.
    -Rob D.

  21. Marcel (mudbunny) Beaudoin says:

    Get better soon!!!

  22. I suck at wishing folks well so instead of my traditional “Hey, Don’t Die we need you” comment let me just say that I hope your Surgeon is better than your Mechanic.
    Seriously though, best of luck. We’re all…um…gunning for you? Does that sound right?

  23. I know we’re having a friendly competition to lose 50 pounds by Gen Con next year, but I’m pretty sure this is considered cheating. 🙂

    Hope the whole business goes well and your recovery is swift!

  24. Get well soon Chris! The dungeon dwellers need to be fed and watered and we ain’t doing it.

  25. Best wishes Chris. Just take care to assure that you’re treated by true clerics. If a man with a large sword approaches and says that he wants to “Lay On Hands” with claims of being a paladin, just remember that they’re no longer required to be good, or even lawful!

  26. Best wishes and good luck Chris, hope you are back to full health soon!

  27. Darth Vayne says:

    Do all of these count as aid another heal checks? 🙂 Get well soon Chris!

  28. You’ll be back up and kicking before you know it Chris! Hopefully you’ll be back to your handsome self and not looking like…. Chatty *shudder*

  29. Siliconwolf says:

    May you roll a nat 20 on your get well check, and need only a short rest to be back to full hit points.

  30. Chris, good luck with everything and I hope you know that I’m in your corner. You’ve helped me so much and you are a great inspiration for all of us. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. I’m sure you’ll be back in the swing of things soon!

  31. Cure Light Wounds! Cure Light Wounds! Get well, Chris.

  32. Vinciente says:


    Sorry to hear that evil gods have beset you with a curse of the flesh… My players & I will pray to the Good Deities for your well being & success in defeating this challenge.

    -Vinciente (@plays2much_DnD)

  33. get well soon from gamers in the UK. You have guided many a hero.

    ( first dibs on your dice if not)

  34. Good luck Chris. Hope the recovery time flies by.

  35. Chris,

    Good luck with the procedure and here’s to a speedy recovery!

  36. I hope everything goes well and you’re back up to normal soon Chris.

  37. Get well soon Chris! Make sure they seal the resultant offcut deep underground, or burn it with fire!

  38. Soklemon says:

    Adepto Puteus Nunc!

  39. Get well soon, sir. Besides just hoping that you have a speedy recovery (once you get the surgery), I enjoy your articles here at Critical Hits. Sounds like I’m just saying, “Stop slacking and get back to work!”, but the healing really is more important. =}

  40. best wishes. and any other 9th level spells which may be useful to you.

  41. Best wishes, and hope all goes well!

  42. I wish you a swift and complete recovery, Chris! Save those healing surges for yourself this round and don’t worry about us: we’ll manage. 🙂

  43. Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery. Get well soon Chris.

  44. highbulp says:

    Best wishes Chris, we’ll all be thinking of you 🙂

  45. Get well bro, hope to have you back soon and felling better than ever 🙂

  46. Hope the surgery is quick and painless and the recovery even more so.

  47. Dr. Nathan Panke says:

    Get well soon Chris.

  48. Be strong, man, and get better soon.

    Put that gamer orneriness to good use 🙂

  49. Feel better man.
    You’ll see it’ll be quick and over before you know it.
    Plus, I need you at 100% for the Minicast. 🙂

  50. Hope everything goes smoothly and according to plan!

  51. I find it hard to say how much this means to me, so I’ll just say . . .

    . . . thanks to you all, very . . . very much.

  52. Late to the show on this (stupid work blocking the site). The “C” word is always scary, but glad this is manageable for you. Feel better soon, Man. Best of luck on the upcoming but delayed procedure.

  53. Feel better, Chris! We need you back at 100% on Twitter to keep those crazy James brothers in check.

  54. As I said on the Twitter, best wishes for a full recovery.

    Remember that all of #TeamSplug will be there for support if needed. Splug wanted to try the surgery himself, but I told him you had already promised someone they could do it. He was sad but is practicing cutting the eyes out of potatoes just in case you change your mind.

  55. Best of luck, Chris!

  56. Get well Chris! Hopefully it’s a First-Release Solo that doesn’t lair with Minions!

  57. I just realized I neglected to sign this card, so I’d just like to say that I hope the surgery goes well and that you have a speedy recovery! 🙂

  58. Get well soon, brother of all of us!

    If there is any Ritual we can make as a coop let us know, so we make the check (but let Chatty DM roll, not me or we all will fail with a 1)

    We hope to see you soon around here!

  59. stjimmyster says:

    Best of luck Chris, fingers crossed.

  60. Good luck and good health! Recover soon Chris!

  61. Get well soon! See you in august?

  62. Get well soon Chris!

    –Fandomaniac Rob

  63. Get well and get back to us soon, Chris.