Nasty, filthy, Hobbitses

Bilbo Baggins from Lord of the Rings

The story that’s popping up all over almost every blog I’ve read today: New Line has kissed Peter Jackson’s ass enough so that he’ll come back to executive produce The Hobbit and an unnamed sequel to The Hobbit. (My vote is for Hobbit 2: Electric Bugaloo) Jackson, however, is looking unlikely to actually direct the movies. Sam Raimi’s name is being tossed around, which after Spiderman 3, isn’t a name I’m so excited about anymore. (Of course, I doubt there’s any director I’ll be happy with that’s NOT Jackson.)

Still holding out for more money before agreeing to appear in the movie: the singing Dwarves.

About Dave

Dave "The Game" Chalker is the Editor-in-Chief and Co-Founder of Critical Hits. Since 2005, he has been bringing readers game news and advice, as well as editing nearly everything published here. He is the designer of the Origins Award-winning Get Bit!, a freelance designer and developer, son of a science fiction author, and a Master of Arts. He lives in MD with e, their three dogs, and two cats.


  1. Any movie with Gloin in it is going to be pure gold.

  2. What do you think the odds are that all the Dwarves will be played by John Rhys-Davies?

  3. TheMainEvent says:

    My question is: since dwarves = comic relief in movie cinema will we have a whole bunch of zany hilarious dwarves, or will one dwarf be pushed into the Gimili role?

  4. Going from my experiences with hundreds of Disney movies showcasing dwarves, it’s almost certain that one will be pushed into Gimli’s role while the rest will be taken semi-seriously…

  5. I hope Smaug is played by Nicholas Cage.

  6. Maybe they’ll get Uwe Boll to direct. I mean, it is based on a video game, and what better way to get hilarious slapstick Dwarves and a Nic Cage dragon who shows all the range of Ghost Rider? The guy has got to know the fantasy genre, right?

  7. See, I was going to name a bunch of awful directorial choices, but you played the trump card.

    The ONLY way I want Uwe Boll involved in a movie production of any Tolkien books is if he plays the part of the One Ring. As it’s being thrown into the fires of Mount Doom. And it’s not a special effect.

    Actually if you just set him on fire that would be OK with me too.

  8. He occupies a unique niche as being a high-profile (among geeks at least) bad director who somehow keeps getting funding to make movies.

  9. Keeps getting A LOT funding to make BAD movies with typically excellent actors.

  10. Oh lord…they had better not ruin the game that got me into RPGs to begin with…I lost my original copy of Dungeon Siege and somehow ended up with a German one…luckily, I knew the game well enough to where playing became an educational experience but still…

    Gorramn krug…

  11. TheMainEvent says:

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but with Uwe Boll helming you can almost be certain that Dungeon Siege will be AWFUL.

  12. I don’t like Sam Raimi, he is too sweet. Nit for such a great movie.