The (annotated) case reports of Agent James (Kevin) Smith: Introduction

Decrypted from a junk post on alt.conspiracy.inconnu on November 8, 2007. Author: woKened_up_S75.

It’s so easy to steal copies of classified reports when you happen to be the one who wrote them… well at least, technically speaking I did.

I finally made the classes and am just one day shy of being a fully licensed Intrusion Detection Agency agent (IDA for all those Cold-War nostalgics ). Yup, I actually get a paycheck from the Department of Homeland security… How’s that for irony?

Keeping a low profile has been hard. I’m surrounded by so many idiots who still refuse to see things as they truly are that I often think about shooting them as a service. They even hired some of THEM, the very ones we few Awakened were put on this good earth to fight!

Sometimes when I hear James being all polite and comprehensive with those other IDA dweebs, especially the non-human ones , I have to spend inhuman (HA!) efforts to stay hidden and bide my time! Still, I must stay calm and see what is their game in all this… Are they double agents working for the Inconnu? Or are they truly “people” with enough remaining humanity to honestly want to fight the Inconnu to be freed of possession?

Don’t even get me started on Mages and Demons… What is this, Dungeons and Dragons? They should all be lined up and shot before they come and bite a chunk out of our collective asses.

Anyway, I’m just posting this as a little primer for what I got cooking for you: Front row seats to the inner workings of Big Brother himself and his “conflict” against the “Inner Enemy”… It’s an alien invasion you tax-money burning morons! Even James had this one right all those years ago… and look what’s happened to him last year… Poor old James, what a naive, broken-up schmuck. He’s lucky I’m around because he’d have been either a Vampire’s Bitch or some trophy on a Werewolf’s Necklace. How I hate these bastards

But I digress,… I have to go … James will “wake up” soon and I don’t want him to suspect anything… yet. I’m like his very own Big Brother now (double HA!) , looming over his shoulder, looking out for both of us.

What I meant to say was that I shall forward you our case report notes, using our newly implemented bio-encryption algorithm. While they’ll be written in James’ usual dry and, frankly, quite boring, style, I’ll pepper it with any juicy bits (both literal and figurative) and insight my dear alter ego might have missed… fortunately, I gathered most of the marbles he lost…

Tomorrow is our last training mission. After that we’ll be allowed to go out into the world without training wheels. We’re luckier than most other agents since my teammates, Clarke (Furry), Dindler (Sucky) and Gunther (Awakened, barely) might actually turn out to be competent…

Don’t worry dear James, I’ll see you through this. Just remember this , when in doubt, just grab your gun…

Chatty DM: Sorry for the bit of fiction-inspired introduction… I know I can never bear to read those in RPG books. I’m banking real hard on the ‘You Write it and I’ll read it’ demographics for this particular post. So yes, starting tomorrow, the McWod campaign log is going to take the form of my character’s Case Reports being hijacked by, well… my character and posted on some freak Newsgroup. Hope you’ll enjoy it.


  1. Haha! Very nice! I’m still laughting…. can’t wait for the rest of the report. Thanks man πŸ™‚