Inq. of the Week: Sparta!

My eye, the helmet does nothing!Last week we decided to test another actor vs. self poll, between Saruman the White, Dracula, and Count Dooku.  Out of 30 votes, it looks like 40% of you chose Saruman, 40% chose Dracula, with the remaining piddly 20%  going to Dooku.  I have to agree, while some readers questioned the abilities and frailties of good old fellow Dracul, having personally read both books concerned I’d say the tie is warranted. 

This week, with the movie 300 released on Friday and skyrocketing to a $70 million opening weekend, we ask:



  1. Sucilaria says:

    To add to my “Very Good” vote – definitely a buy for the inevitable extended DVD version.

    And there are never too many nekkid men if they look like THAT.

  2. Where’s the option for “not enough nekkid men and spears to the chest”?

  3. Overall I liked it a lot. Except for the parts that were a bit too silly to take seriously:
    Immortals being Orcs
    Persians having boss monsters
    The elephants falling off the cliff


  4. Warning: One spoiler!

    I agree with Justin about the silliness. When the small phalanx pushed three gigantic War Elephants off the cliff I nearly fell out of my chair from laughing. That was one of the funniest war scenes I think I have ever seen! Ridic!

    The silliness really overshadowed any interest I might have had in the movie.

  5. Oh, and a lot of those men’s muscles were CGI.

  6. It’s always good to know that you were looking, Scotto!

    While it is true that War Elephants were not really used by Persians in Europe until Alexander the Great’s time (331 BC, vs. 480 BC when the battle of thermopalyea took place), I think it’s ridiculous for you to laugh at 300 spartans forcing a couple of over-burdened elephants off of a small cliff pass and not think the entire, historically accurate, idea of 1,000 greeks defending for three days against an army of over a million Persian soldiers is just impossible. I do agree it was funny, and a tad ridiculous on its own, but in context of the whole situation I think it fit decently.

    An interview with the director at Superherohype said that they cut out some of the VERY ridiculous persian monsters (arm-less ogres with goblins on their backs that shoot bows) and left them for the DVD extended version. It’s good that they could see something in the movie and think, “this is just too insane, cut it.” Compared to that the Elephants seems realistic!

  7. You must also consider that “gollum”, the Immortals, the “monsters” were all drawn from Frank Miller’s comic 300 as oppossed to pure Hollywood creation. Its a movie about a comic book about an ancient historical event, so in that sense I forgive those oddities. My favorite monster would have to be Sir Swords For Arms. He was beyond absurd.

  8. Personally, I wanted to see more ridiculous fighting and less ridiculous creatures. I didn’t like the ogre and the disfigurement of the Immortals, but I liked the elephants and rhino (and didn’t really see how the elephants were ridiculous in and of themselves.)
    I wanted to see more crazy Spartan fighting that pushed the limits of human possibility. That’s what kept it from being a grade A action movie to me.

  9. The disfigured “gollum” character is based on an actual Spartan who betrayed them and showed the Persians a route around the Spartan defenses, though there is no historical account for him being anything but a normal looking greek (the mutant part is Frank Miller, I assume). The Immortals is actually the name that the Greeks used to describe Xerxes’ elite troops that were sent in as the second wave in this battle, again the disfigurement of them is probably Frank Miller’s doing.

    I also share The Game’s sentiments, but I don’t feel that they kept it from being a superb movie either.

  10. joshx0rfz says:

    Leonidas needed to yell “FOR SPARTA!” during the sex scene – my only real complaint.

  11. I loved it..and not just the nekkid guys…I thought it was totally comic bookish…over the top…fun…didn’t take itself too seriously and a wild rendition of a very old story.

    Being that that the Greeks loved some good ol’ enhancements to their tales…..freaky monsters why not!?

    If you are making a movie about guys fighting…just have them fight a lot….and that was what this was.

  12. I loved it from start to finish and heres why..

    From the start of the movie the story telling was both that of a third person narative and a first person view.
    You get to see how a king views his people, and how his soldiers view him.

    As far as the “monsters” go in the film I think Frank Miller was really trying to play on the ideal of Sparta’s view of the perfect man. The persian army was full of strange creatures, disfigured men, and amputiee herams (WTF was up with that by the way?)

    I guess while watching it I just kept in the mind set that its a graphic artists recount of an unbelievable and crucial battle in history. Also if you think about the fact that the movie is half told in third person by a man whos “greatest skill as a spartan” is storytelling, why not throw in monsters and oddities… give the listener more reason to hate the man who saw your king slewn right?

    All in all I think its probably one of the best movies Ive seen in a long long time. Visually stunning, very well acted, and yes the storyline is predictable but what in history ISNT.. because its already happened and we already know the tale.

    I guess for me I went in seeing it as a live version of a graphic novel by a very dark artist.. and it made me love the cornyness and oddities even more. Dare I say I almost craved more of them!

  13. oh and I guess i could have done with a little less Homoerotica, but i think again Miller was trying to emphises the spartin ideal of a perfect man.

    oh and joshx0rfz, your right he should have yelled that, that would have made it the BESTEST MOVIE EVA!

  14. This is a late reply to Danny, but here it is nonetheless:

    In that particular shot, there were NOT 300 Spartans pushing 3 giant war elephants off the cliff. In fact, the number of Spartans it took was closer to ten. I believe 300 men can defend a passage… it actually happend! However, no way can 10-20 men push three giant elephants off a cliff. Those elephants are more likely to charge and die rather then get slowly scared back by a pittance of spears and swords.

  15. I’ll just quote what I said above, because I was agreeing with you in most respects:

    “I do agree it was funny, and a tad ridiculous on its own, but in context of the whole situation I think it fit decently.”

  16. What we do know, is that Iran is pissed about this movie!


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