The Seductive Powers of the Beard


In light of the impending movie, and several videogames in development, the Star Trek franchise seems to still be going strong. A large problem continues to obstruct it from ever reaching everyone in the world, the fact that if you watch Star Trek you must be a really big dork. Certainly she seemed to think so at one time, but obviously she has since turned towards the light. Now it is very rare occurence that I shall return home and not find her watching the Next Generation.

It is not entirely due to the good sir Jonathan Frakes (not actually a Sir, unlike Ian McKellen) and his sexified Beard of Justice, but he certainly served as a good hook to drag the fighting fish within netting range. I suppose it is a testament to the show’s greatness, but perhaps everything can be attributed to that blasted facial hair. (search down the page for “Growing the Beard”) He was not the first to be christened the beloved title of Mr.Hot, behind Eomer the spear-chucking slab of pure female-pleasure, and more then likely he will not be the last. It is in the shadow of these statuesque men that our marriage has really been allowed to ferment.

If it becomes my single claim to greatness in life, that I managed to sway an otherwise “Normal girl” into watching a Star Trek series, I shall not die an unsatisfied human being. Unfortunately in the end I am unaware of how much actual effort was put into the transition by me personally, or whether the pure animal magnetism of Riker can overpower the strongest feminine defenses. No matter what, for the help, he’ll always be my “Number One”.


  1. I saw the title to the article in my RSS feed, and thought it was about me.

    Yes, I (and my beard) are that egotistical.

  2. Does your beards ego know no bounds?!