"Perhaps this is a passable day to die."

Star Wreck: The Pirkinning is a full length parody science fiction movie made entirely by some Finns and a lot of computers. It is a fan made film, but from the dead on computer generated ships, you might not know it until you actually saw the actors.

The story starts out with Captain Pirk, Commander Dwarf the Plingon, and Commander Info the Android stranded on Earth sometime in his past (our modern day.) They had decided to try to “go native” and not damage the timeline, but after the benevolant alien race that is supposed to advance mankind falls in with the wrong crowd, Pirk decides to conquer Earth using future technology to put time on the “right” track- where he rules. But after one of his ships discovers a “maggot-hole” to an alternate dimension, a full out war begins with the residents of the mirror universe: the crew of a certain Babel 13 space station…

The plot is pretty typical fanfic fare, with all the copyrighted stuff replaced by parodied names. The first part of the movie is mostly Pirk’s rise to power, and it tended to drag a bit. It actually pokes fun more at Russia than Star Trek, for some reason. But then once they get into space, it picks up a lot more. The humor makes fun of a lot of the cliches of Star Trek and Babylon 5, but mostly not in any new way. It does get a lot more funny near the end. Those flaws aside, the special effects are completely amazing. All the ships (which encompass EVERYTHING you’ve seen in both Star Trek and Babylon 5) look exactly like they did in their shows. If you ever wanted to see a Defiant fight a Whitestar, you’ll get your geekish fill here. And the firefights of the station’s defense grid versus phasers and photon torpedos (sorry, “twinklers and lightballs”) look exactly like they do from the shows. And don’t expect that just because it’s a fan film that the costumes are Starfleet uniforms sewn by somebody’s mother: all the costumes look like they were taken out of their respective series, with only the patches replaced by the parody organizations.

Overall, Star Wreck: The Pirkinning is an amusing romp, and pretty much hits all the bases of a fan parody film. If you’re a Star Trek and Babylon 5 fan (and want to see some really amazing inter-tv ship fights) this is the movie for you. If you’re looking for a strong comedy or epic, you’ll find this falls short. I give it a B, or for those using The System, a +15.

You can download the movie for free, legally, via bittorrent at the movie’s website.


About Dave

Dave "The Game" Chalker is the Editor-in-Chief and Co-Founder of Critical Hits. Since 2005, he has been bringing readers game news and advice, as well as editing nearly everything published here. He is the designer of the Origins Award-winning Get Bit!, a freelance designer and developer, son of a science fiction author, and a Master of Arts. He lives in MD with e, their three dogs, and two cats.


  1. The Main Event says:

    not sure if a +15 equates to a B. That could be closer to a +30

  2. “The System” doesn’t follow your “rules”, “man.”

    Maybe B- is closer to my actual opinion. It seems to me a C would be a 0.