The Honor of the Salesman

toothpastefordinner.com

INT. CIRCUIT SAMURAI (CUSTOMER SERVICE COUNTER) -- DAY

Angle on an angry middle-aged man yelling at a salesman.

ANGRY GUY
I bought this, and it won't run on my computer. I don't want it, you have to take it back.

SALESMAN
I'm sorry sir, but we can't take back opened software for legal reasons. There's a number on the box to call the company, but we can't do anything here...

ANGRY GUY
This is ridiculous! I bought this from you, you have to take it back. You can't have a policy like that without putting a sign up!

The camera pans around to show the Salesman standing in front of a giant sign that says "WE CANNOT TAKE BACK OPENED SOFTWARE"

SALESMAN
Actually, sir...

He gestures towards the large sign. The angry customer is taken aback for a moment.

ANGRY GUY
You have too many signs up! I can't be expected to read everything in your store!

From Ryan:
Customer came in asking for a "jukebox" program he could put, like, 200 cd's on. As in, he was trying to BUY a media player program. Dallas' solution was to sell him a copy of windows XP, and just say "this has what you need, along with some other stuff"
He was seriously, like, WANTING to pay $200 for one. As in, someone quoted him $200 for a program of "this caliber"

I've only caught part of the conversation as it has moved from the center of the store to the front area. I'm quickly able to tell that a woman has decided to do some Christmas shopping at Kinko's, because I know it's the first place I think of for the holidays. She had placed a few things she wished to purchased on a counter and told one of the people at the counter she would be back for them.

Some time had passed, and somebody else, seeing that there was a pile of stuff that had been sitting there for a while, decided to be helpful and put all the stuff away. The person who had been asked to watch the stuff had wandered off to, you know, do her job of helping people.

So the customer returned and her stuff was gone. She began to complain to the other workers, and insulted the person she had told to watch the stuff she was going to buy. (Keep in mind it's not a very big store and it would not take very long to pick out whatever it is she was going to buy.)

At this point the manager interceded and nicely explained that she insists that all messes be cleaned up, and they must have not realized there was somebody coming back for it.

Then it happened. The reason she was complaining so much. "I should get a discount because I have to pick it all out again."

The manager said she couldn't do that. And I'm glad, because otherwise, I might as well ask stores for a discount because I have to walk there.

This is a scary costume to me at least.

I'll be glad to sell you any of my old uniforms for half the price they want for that. And you don't even have to pay shipping.

This one comes via my friend Ryan, and I thought it was good enough to repost:

"had my first real customer complaint the other day... and I've never felt better about it. I was helping out in the copy center, shipping a package for a family. They seemed "hamilton folk" enough. Man of the family gets a call on his cell phone... seems to be short with the person on the phone and hangs up angrily. In front of everyone he says, "fucking niggers"... and then proceeds to say that phrase a few more times, and the wife agrees with the two children within earshot... I had already shipped the package and was printing the receipt out... but at that point, I basiclly threw it at them.... shocked, I sit there dumbfounded for awhile and then head back to the tech center... those fuckwads come back up to me and ask me for help finding dell ink. I tell them to their face "I refuse to help you people. You are going to have to get it yourself"
...and they go and complain about me not helping them.

I thought I'd share, because Ryan's totally the man.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me sir! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!" I look over to find a boy of no more than 9 calling for attention at the counter. One of my coworkers, annoyed at the interruption of the copying but keeping his cool, heads up to the counter.
"What can I do for you, little man?"
"How much is this?" The boy holds up a pink highlighter.
"One dollar." The coworker, peering down over the counter, says in his best attempt to be cheery."
"That's a lot." The kid puts the highlighter down and walks off. The coworker returns to his copying.

One of the other guys says "They start training them young, don't they?"
Without missing a beat, the coworker turns to the counter and yells "There's no Santa Claus, kid!"