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[This round is over, go vote in the FINAL ROUND]
Many a rivalry is legendary. Pirates vs. Ninjas. Robots vs. Zombies. Werewolves vs. Unicorns. But which one of these groups is truly best?
joshx0rfz and I were talking about how the Muse video that was posted yesterday was all kinds of awesomeness, and discussed what else we’d like to see in it. Combine that with ChattyDM pointing me towards TV Tropes (and how it has ruined my life) and I’ve got to thinking about all those things we consider Awesome.
After much arguing about who our groups should be, we’ve come up with 16 matchups for you to vote on. The format is totally stolen somewhat borrowed from Comic Pants‘ Rumble Pants feature. It really is the best way to present these kinds of match ups. Today we’ve started with 16 matchups. The voting will last for one week, and end next Thursday at Midnight EST (for us late nighters, this means late Wednesday night.) Then we will see who advanced to the next set of matches, and so on, running for 5 weeks until we have an ultimate victor.
But I’m going a step further. This will be, in the two years since we opened, our first contest. To enter: comment on THIS POST with your ONE pick on who will take the entire title. First come, first serve for picks, which means there are only 32 entrants in the contest. Myself, Bartoneus, and joshx0rfz will not enter, but the contest is open to anyone else.
The GRAND PRIZE for picking the correct winner is a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate. (We will be checking the voting logs, so we can pick up if anyone is cheating or not.) At our discretion, we may also award other prizes (probably some posters) to those who pick someone who barely loses. Good luck!
It is important to note: you are not voting for who you logically think would win. (As if logic has any place in many of these.) You are voting in each match up on WHO YOU WOULD LIKE TO WIN.
And so… on to the match-ups!
Loading ...Samurai are the honor-bound ancient warriors who wield Katanas with deadly grace. Example: Zatoichi
Ninjas are stealthy assassins who have been purported to stab, fly, and flip-out. Example: Ryu Hayabusa
Loading ...Dragons are large (or Colossal, or Gargantuan…) lizards who fly, breathe fire, and possess innate magicks. Example: Smaug
Knights are warriors sworn to chivalric code in service of their lord, and wield magic swords with funny names. Examples: King Arthur, the Black Knight
Loading ...Cowboys are fast-drawing gun-shooting hard-drinking adventurers of the Old West. Example: Walker, Texas Ranger.
Indians are the warriors who live in harmony with nature in the Old West. Example: Tonto
Loading ...Vampires are blood-sucking undead who nonetheless possess a keen fashion sense. Example: Dracula
Werewolves are shaggy creatures of the full-moon, who possess a terrifying half-man half-wolf form. Example: The Wolf-Man
Loading ...Badasses have names like “Schwarzenegger” and “Stallone” and “McBain.” They might ostensibly be cops or soldiers or accountants, but really, they’re just ass-kickers. Example: Rambo
Terrorist Commie Nazi Businessmen are the ultimate evil, between trying to conquer the world, steal large sums of money, kill large numbers of people, and taking our your partner one day before retirement. Example: Hans Gruber
Loading ...Jedis are those who use the Force and fight with lightsabers. This includes both the Jedi Order and the Sith. Example: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Super-Soldiers are usually genetically engineered in the service of their government to fight threats that normal soldiers can’t handle. Example: Master Chief
Loading ...Hobos are those wandering souls who may not have a home but possess strange knowledge from their travels. Example: Boxcar Steve
Slashers are those serial killers who have become pure killing machines through some accident. Examples: Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kruger
Loading ...Robots are machines that can think and react and may look human, but inside are all metal. Examples: The Terminator, RoboCop
Dinosaurs once were the dominant life form on earth, coming in many shapes and sizes. They have occasionally attacked humans via time travel and amusement park. Examples: Raptors, T-Rex
Loading ...Pegasi are elegant horses with wings to soar over the battlefield. Example: The Pegasus from Hercules
Unicorns are magical defenders of goodness who smite evil with their horns. Example: Genghis Khan sighted one in India in the early 1200’s, so that one.
Loading ...Secret Agents are suave and sophisticated, performing complex infiltration missions and employing a variety of gadgets. Example: James Bond
Sinister Agents are those agents that are part of The System somehow and can ruin your life just using the power of bureaucracy. Examples: Mr. Smith, the Technocracy
Loading ...Demons are magical creatures from the underworld, here to tempt mortals into giving up their souls… or they just want to eat people. Example: Cacodemon
Wizards are those people who have mastered the magical arts. Many have beards, wands, and funny hats. Examples: Gandalf, Harry Potter
Loading ...Space Empire is any futuristic Empire that employs military might to keep order in the galaxy. Examples: The Federation, The Empire
Space Rebels are those who oppose a totalitarian system over the galaxy, and believe in freedom for all. Example: The Rebel Alliance
Loading ...Super-Scientists are those who push beyond conventional research methods to advance Science! to bold new heights. Example: Dr. Venture
Zombies: All they want to do is eat your brains. Example: T-Virus infected
Loading ...Cthulhu is the alien elder god that sits beneath the waves, not dead, but dreaming, who will eventually rise up and devour us all.
Pirates are the scourge of the seven seas, who sail for treasure so that they can bury it and buy new hook hands. Example: Captain Jack Sparrow
Loading ...Giant Animals are creatures who, whether it be through nuclear experiments or lost islands, are gigantic. Examples: Godzilla, King Kong
Giant Bugs are like Giant Animals, only they’re bugs. And thus more gross. Example: Mothra
Loading ...Aliens are acid-spitting egg-laying horrors from space.
Predators are well-equipped hunters from space.
LEGAL STUFF: Critical-Hits reserves the right to not award the prize or to award the prize to someone else if there is evidence of fraud or wrongdoing. Anyone with an email address is eligible to enter. No purchase required. Images were taken from various Google Image searches, and are copyright of their owner, and used under Fair Use without permission.
63 Responses to “Real Ultimate Showdown Round 1”
Posted: Sep 13th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
I think Predators will WIN
Posted: Sep 13th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
This is sooooo cool!
Posted: Sep 13th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
I think that either ninjas or super soldiers will win… Because everyone knows that ninjas are super soldiers and vice-versa!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 12:28 am
ROCK ON. I mean Cthulu is an unstoppable god beast, but he has SHIT on pirates!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Wow, Ben Logee still exists?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Man, putting Pirates against Cthulhu makes this lopsided… but I’m going to say Pirates anyway. Pirates beat everyone.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 12:55 am
some suprising results so far… Scientists winning over zombies? wth?!
and all you had to do was post a pic of ED209 and that one answered itself!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 1:08 am
Damn, it was almost worth starting Rumble Pants just to inspire this.
And that Muse video is indeed awesome to the power of X, where X *also* equals awesome.
I’d say that Cthulhu is going to walk off with this one, but I think everyone knows that when there are hobos in the mix, anything could happen.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 2:43 am
As a reminder, you must pick ONE entrant to have a chance at winning the contest, and it cannot be one previously picked. So far the only three entrants picked are:
Ben Logee for Predators
Wurmfood for Pirates
Randy Lander for Cthluhu
Still plenty of picks left!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 3:08 am
[...] myself put a lot of time and effort into coming up with the Real Ultimate Showdown, so get over to Critical Hits and vote now. The more voters, the better the [...]
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 3:42 am
I’ll pick the Knight. Because the Black Knight Always Triumphs! (Even if he’s losing now to the Dragon).
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 5:00 am
So hard to choose just one. I think I’d like to go for Dragons.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 5:04 am
Dragons always!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 5:24 am
But where are the Mexican Wrestlers??? How can this be a Real Ultimate Showdown without Mexican Wrestlers?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 5:40 am
I’ll go with the Ninjas then!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Oh man I hope that Hobos make a come back against those damn Slashers…They sing, they dance, they STAB! HOBOS! (not a vote for them, since I can’t vote)
Some of the really close ones right now:
Dinosaurs - 17
Robots - 22
Demons - 18
Wizards - 20
Super Scientists - 19
Zombies - 20
Cthulhu - 19
Pirates - 23
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:03 am
It’s really hard to pick, but I’m going for Werewolves.
In case that wasn’t obvious, that’s Denise as in Elena99.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 8:26 am
I’ll take Secret Agents FTW.
When do Sinister Agents ever win anything?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Alright, guess I have to go super scientists, long-shots ftw.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am
No ones picked the Jedi yet?…wow…
Jedi win…probably against the pirates in the final…
Can I get an extra dollar on that certificate if I get ‘em all?…
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Right now it’s a dead tie between Cthulhu and Pirates both with 30 votes!
This seems like a great time to explain something Dave forgot to mention, if there is a straight out tie for any match come Midnight next Thursday, what will move on from Round 1 is a hybrid form of the two combatants! Examples: Cybernetic Dinosaurs, Super Scientist Zombies, or best and hopefully most likely of all! Pirate Cthulhu!!!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 10:45 am
So what happens if, say, Cybernetic Dinosaurs wins, and 1 person voted for Dinosaurs, another for Robots?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 10:54 am
We’ll deal with that calamity if/when it happens, or when Dave is around to make the decision.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:09 am
OMG, how are Dinosaurs not winning?!?!?!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:14 am
i’m voting for the ‘bad ass action heroes’ but don’t ask me why.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Um, I misunderstood the rules. If I may, I’ll go with WIZARDS.
Finals Prediction: Jedi v. Wizards
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:41 am
So, about this hybrid thing…say ninja dragons combine and on some incredibly off chance (as pirates are far superior) the ninja dragons take the prize…who would get the $10 certificate?…
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:46 am
I vote Unicorns because I’m girly and go go unicorns. And this is Josh writing and not Joyce although she is voting, Josh would NOT vote for unicorns even though they do stab.
They protected against the stuff in the Harry Potter movie (quoting Joyce) the little black flying thingies.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 11:52 am
If, by some chance, a hybrid wins the prize, we’ll award multiple prizes, all of the same value.
Mexican wrestlers were definitely an omission. Can’t get them all!
And all you people need to be voting on my friends the Hobos!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
It’s really interesting to see how the close ones have shaped up from 40 votes up to 70:
Dinosaurs - 32
Robots - 38 (Still very close!)
Demons - 26
Wizards - 44 (You. Shall not. PASS!)
Super Scientists - 41
Zombies - 30
(No where near as close, was 19-20, I hope Zombies catch back up!)
Cthulhu - 39
Pirates - 37
(I can’t wait to see how this one turns out!)
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I really see this coming down to Jedi vs Preditors… and its gonna be one hell of a tough call to pick a winner out of those two.. but Im going with…
Preditor.
Close combat is NOT a jedis strong suit if taken by suprise.. we already have seen that.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
yeah yeah I kknow L2Spell
PredAtor happy?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Predator was taken (very first comment), so if you want to enter the contest Mr. Foodist, you’ll have to pick something else.
So far:
Ben Logee- Predators
Wurmfood- Pirates
Randy Lander- Cthulhu
Petri Purho- Knights
Snowpaws- Dragons
(Sorry, Bog97th, looks like you were a few minutes too late, but you can call something else)
ChattyDM- Ninjas
Denise- Werewolves
Abe- Super-Scientists
Reverend Mike- Jedi
Joyce- Unicorns
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I’ll be putting names on the bracket soon so that it’s easier to see what has already been chosen!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
TheMainEvent has Wizards
Sassy has badassactionheroes
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
I’ll go with Robots! All about the transformers, voltrons, battletechs, etc.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Just wanted to let everyone know that I updated the Bracket with people’s names next to what they’ve picked to win the whole she-bang! Any that don’t have a name next to them are still open game to be grabbed up by someone, and there are definitely quite a few power-players out there that are untouched!
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I know “some” people might be partial to Ninjas but I’m routing for the Hobos (who doesn’t like an underdog)?
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
I’m going with Cowboys, b/c I never saw Walker lose.
Wait, I mean I’ve never seen Walker period…
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
…and by “routing” I mean re-routing them to the top.
So basically I can’t spell.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Jingle- Yes, hobos are who I’d like to see win the whole contest. I’d organize a mass protest and letter writing campaign, but I’m running this whole thing…
Posted: Sep 14th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Jingle…. are you implying that I have no taste?
Coming from a designer, that hurts!!!!
I’m just a lowly microbiologist!
But then again:
Ninjas FTW!!!!!
Posted: Sep 15th, 2007 at 12:50 am
i’m gonna guess Jedi. possibly dragons.
Posted: Sep 15th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Good thing you didn’t put Batman on the list or else there would be no need to even have a contest…
Posted: Sep 15th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I’m quite surprised they haven’t been taken, but I’ll take the Slashers as my official pick. Makes sense seeing how much I love horror flicks :).
Posted: Sep 15th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
And as my arch-nemesis, you have picked the one against my favorite (but not official pick) the Hobos. There’s still time for them to lay out a bindle-stick of whopass on the Slashers.
Posted: Sep 16th, 2007 at 12:34 am
[...] doing work on the Real Ultimate Showdown and the newfound pressures of grad school, my regular columns have fallen by the wayside. [...]
Posted: Sep 16th, 2007 at 4:23 am
I’d love for the hobos to win…I definitely got a few friends and myself to vote for them…but it’s looking bleak…
I mean, with the addition of Christian Bale, the Great American Psycho, hobos don’t stand a chance…
Posted: Sep 16th, 2007 at 9:35 am
Again, I must remind everyone: DINOSAURS. COME ON. Batteries die, power goes out, what NOW?!??! Their brains may be small, but their bite is hu-UGE!
Posted: Sep 16th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Lightsabers don’t run on batteries…and neither does the force…
I could see Obi-wan taming a tyrannosaur and then riding it into combat fairly frighteningly…
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 12:30 am
[...] Let us know in the comments why you voted for what you did! (And don’t forget, if you haven’t already, to vote in the Real Ultimate Showdown!) [...]
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 7:18 am
Rev. Mike: The Jedi aren’t up against Dinosaurs yet so that argument shouldn’t matter, unless you’re talking about a robot jedi…which is just creepy. and Awesome.
I’m still hoping Dinosaurs and Hobos pull ahead, but we’ll see what happens.
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Robot Jedi = Creepy? Robot Jedi = Darth Vader.
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
He was a cyborg, not a robot. I took it more as an android jedi kind of idea, which is odd.
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
General Grievous? He was even more robot?
Posted: Sep 17th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Not quite a robot…droids are robots…
Even with as many cybernetics as General Grievous, he still had human (humanoid) parts and a consciousness…even if there was a way to transfer his conscious to a completely droid body, he’d still be human…
That’s the line…
My apologies for arguing so early on…
Posted: Sep 18th, 2007 at 6:59 am
Cartoon General Grievous was vastly superior to movie Grievous. It’s just disappointing.
BOTH Pegasus vs. Unicorn and Cthulhu vs. Pirates are within 3 votes!
Posted: Sep 18th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Cartoon anything is superior to it’s normal self…cartoons never die as easy…
Posted: Sep 19th, 2007 at 12:31 am
[...] beating the dread lord of the seas, Cthulhu. To make the victory by cannon and hook more complete, head over to the votin’ today before this round ends at midnight. [...]
Posted: Sep 19th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Right now Pegasi vs. Unicorns is at 51-52, and Cthulhu vs. Pirates is at 57-58. It’s going to be close!
Posted: Sep 19th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Arrr, pirates be now LOSING on their own holiday. ‘Tis a scurvy shame!
Posted: Sep 19th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Arrr…’tis be a sad day for y’arr scurvy seamen…
S’pose I fancy to hold a good ol’ mutiny over at me beloved Anime Club…that’ll do plenty fine far sharrrrrr…
Posted: Sep 20th, 2007 at 12:56 am
Yus!…
Pirates and Pegasi win!…
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