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A 600 lb. Gorrilla

Submitted by Bartoneus on Friday, October 7, 20052 Comments

Poker has become a plague that is sweeping across the country. I can remember nigh over a year ago when barely anyone I knew wanted to play the game. CARDS? POKING? What is this ancient, non-computer based abomination?

Lo, then didst the Moses of our time deliver unto us our own salvation, Texas Hold ‘em. Evolved painstakingly over centuries from a simple game of grabbing one’s testes before another could kick them swiftly and precisely, into an intricate game of cards, money, booze, and women…but forget the women, and the booze, and sometimes the money. Hell even the cards are gone with online poker. SCREW THAT! The only reason I ever played poker was for the social interaction, in person, face to face, smell to smell. It had to muscle its fat way into the computer gaming market too. Why not develop a wonderful client for betting on games of Starcraft. $50 says my seige defense pwns your hydralisks. Oh snap, he spawned broodlings all over my shit! $100 says my irradiate kicks your queens ass!

Okay, so that’s not the best idea, but making money from an RTS would be like a dream. Now don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy the game of Poking, I just find it fascinating that within a year it has sky rocketed to -the- game to play. Probably because it’s really damn fun, and it’s definitely one of the best things to come from Texas since the emergence of steak, but I fear that this game will soon fade into the mists of game abandonment. Now we just need to wait for the rise in popularity of Battleship with the new betting game, Texas Sink ‘em.

- Danny

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Danny works professionally as an architect and serves as managing editor here at CH, which means he shares many of the duties of being an editor but without the fame and recognition. He also writes about RPGs, videogames, movies, and TV. He is married to Sucilaria, and you can follow his personal blog Incorrect Blitz Input where he writes about things that don't really fit in at Critical Hits. (Email Danny)

2 Comments »

  • joshx0rfz said:

    You nub, no zerg would use hydras vs tanks.

  • The Game said:

    “Looks like Doyle Brunson’s got the destroyer nuts”
    “Agressive Battleship is winning Battleship”
    “D-1! He’s totally been trapped!”

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